Monday, December 19, 2016

Ass In Chief

Tuesday, November 3rd 2020

Oh my, what am I going to do now? How can I get out of this pickle? Just my luck. The results are in and it turns out I'm going to be the next President.

I blame Winnie. He told me to run for office. I said he should do it himself, but he answered he was too fat. He said the people would find my melancholic demeanor attractive and it seems he was right.

I have no idea what to do next. I know I have to fix the country, but how do I get started?

The ink on the page is getting blurry. I'm crying, I can't stop myself.

Winnie, Tigger and Piglet have just walked into the room. They have told me to get a grip. I guess they are right. I have to be strong.

I've asked them to help me come up with some brilliant ideas. Piglet says everybody deserves free healthcare and I do agree. My friend is small but brilliant.

Tigger thinks we should build big stadiums so that everybody can bounce around. He says it's a great way to get rid of stress and believes it will reduce the crime rate.

Winnie has told us honey is the key. We must give everybody free honey to keep them happy.

I'm more cheerful now, my friends' presence has calmed me down. I'm ready to face my electors.

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